I will NOT marry a Weasley
by broomstick flyer
Summary: A small one shot that several readers have asked me to post. Harry and Hermione both refuse to do as the author wanted and marry and Weasley. Some folk find it amusing. all I can say is read and enjoy.


Disclaimer all characters, settings, etc, are the copyright of JK Rowling and Bloomsbury Publishing

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"I'm not marrying a Weasley."

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"I don't care what you say, I am not marrying Ginny so you might as well accept it. Hermione and I have been together right from book one and that's how it's going to stay," Harry Potter yelled at Molly Weasley.

Hermione stood next to Harry holding tightly to his hand.

"Harry love you have to marry Ginny. It says so in the book," Molly said exasperated.

"Yeah and I get to marry Hermione," Ron said with a stupid look on his face, and smiling at the brown haired girl.

"Over my dead body Weasley," Hermione said as she huddled closer to Harry.

"Look Potter if you aren't going to do like the author says then I am most definitely not going to die, so there," chimed in the effeminate voice of Voldemort "I mean it would be just so unfair, wormtail and I could be so happy together, isn't that right Peter."

"Yes Tommy dear, quite right," Wormtail replied waving a rather limp wristed hand at Voldemort and blowing him a kiss.

"Now you're just being silly Tom, we all know you die in the last few pages," Albus Dumbledore said looking annoyed.

Sirius will you just tell them, Harry listen's to you," Molly said in a pleading tone.

"Oh no, I'm not telling them. I mean I happen to agree with Harry and Hermione. After all they have been together since that first hug when they went after the stone, right through until they stayed together in that tent, and they acted as man and wife in Godrics Hollow. Maybe Hermione is already pregnant, you never know," Sirius replied casually winking at Harry.

"Sirius Black how could you," Molly shouted.

"Hang on Sirius is right, they were alone in that tent for a long time, and they did a lot of hand holding and cuddling at the graveyard, and they pretended to be married. I don't think I want to marry someone who has already been married," Ron added into the mix of voices.

Hermione cleared her voice causing them all to look at her "Look all of you, the writer started out writing a children's book, it is not our fault if she unwittingly turned it into a romance novel with Harry and I as the main characters. We were unofficially boyfriend and girlfriend right from the day of the Troll incident. Now if any of you can tell me where I once hugged or kissed Ron other than that one silly mistake on the occasion toward the end please do, because I sure don't remember it. In fact the way I remember it is we actually detest each other, we never got on together, not since the first ride on the Hogwarts express."

"She's right you know," Severus said as he gave Harry a thumbs up and a big grin.

"Well Harry is supposed to be married to me," Ginny said pouting.

"Ok Ginny where does it actually say in the books that I got back together with you after I dumped you for just wanting to be the girlfriend of the hero. Show me in the book exactly where it actually says that I am your husband or that you are my wife. You can't because it doesn't actually say that, in fact it says in none of the books that Hermione or Ron got together and got married," Harry said getting annoyed with the red heads.

"Yes well it doesn't actually say so in so many words... but the epilogue definitely infers it. I mean you have to be blind to miss that," Ginny replied triumphantly.

"Well that all depends how you read it, in the epilogue it doesn't actually say anything about you being together, there are just vague references to the children, and there being five Potters, and you being on the platform the only place it puts you together is where it has Draco looking at us," Hermione said quietly as she got fed up of the argument.

"It does say that you know Weaslet," Draco drawled.

"Look Malfoy you stay out of this, I don't understand why you weren't sent to Azkaban, so do keep quiet." Ron said his face turning red.

"Look you might as well all shut up because I am not giving up my girl friend of the whole series except for the few times I snogged Ginny in the sixth book, I have no intention of going through with a wedding that was not in the books. Anyway why on earth would I want to marry someone who only said a few words to me right from the begining." Harry said with finality.

"For what it's worth Harry, Tonks and me, we both feel you and Hermione are a couple, in fact I can't for the life of me see why we had to die, or dobby comes to that, I mean it had nothing to do with the plot." Remus said shaking his head.

"I'll go with that," Fred and George chorused.

"Dobby didn't likes being deaded," squeaked a little voice from behind Hermione's skirt.

"Well someone had to die, I mean where's all the fun if only the bad guys die," Voldemort said looking around the room.

"Here! Here!" Lucius Malfoy said before shutting up, he didn't want anyone reminded that after all he had done he had walked away free.

"Well there could have been the death of some of the lesser known characters, them with the bit parts or maybe even Umbridge, and Percy," Charlie chipped in.

"Well that's not very nice," Percy and Umbridge said together.

"Neither are you, remember," Fred pointed out.

"Well I think I should be the one who marries Ginny," Neville added a little nervously.

"All this is getting us nowhere after all said and done we need to consider the children, what about James Albus and Lily, then there is Rose and Hugo, we have to think of them, Harry they are your children," Minerva said in her strictest teacher voice.

"You should know us better than that Minnie, besides they weren't our kids, we only spoke about a dozen words to them between us, we don't know them, in fact they are strangers really, I mean we know Quirrell better than we know them," Ron said rather indignantly.

"Don't bring me in on this, I was out after the first book," Quirrell stammered.

"You got that right Ron, and there is no way I would name my kids after Albus or Severus, no offence you two, but in the books you two between you caused me more pain than Tom did, you Albus do you really think you would have put me with those Muggles without checking up, do you think you would have let them treat me the way they did, would you have let me grow up to face the villain with no training, no I didn't think so, then what about you Sev would you have treated me so evilly if you loved my mother, would you really have hated me so much without a good reason, I doubt it," Harry said.

"Yeah and why on earth would I call a son, Scorpius or whatever it is, I mean come on," said Draco rolling his eyes.

"And where did the name Hugo come from," Ron added emphatically.

"So we are right back where we started, Harry and I are not going to marry any Weasleys and that is final," Hermione asserted wrapping her arms around Harry.

"Arthur why don't you say something?" Molly asked.

Arthur looked up from his paper, "It's not up to me to tell them who to marry," he said before going back to the paper he was reading.

"Come on Hermione love, lets go visit Hagrid before this lot drive us mad," Harry suggested as he took her hands in his and backed away.

"Good idea sweetheart," she replied as they snuck from the Burrow kitchen and quietly closed the door.


End file.
